Keeping it Positive

T here is a saying that has been floating around the internet that is being attributed to the famous psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud:

“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”

There is in fact no evidence that Freud was actually responsible for this quote and having been a graduate of psychology it seems unlikely to me, although some of the history of psychoanalysis can definitely be rated ‘X’. On some sites over the internet the quote is being attributed to the award-winning science fiction author William Gibson who in fact shared the information via a retweet. The evidence seems to suggest that the quote originated electronically via twitter.

No matter what the origins may be or whoever actually said it – EVERYONE can relate to it.

You don’t need to be Freud to work out how a constantly negative person can bring you down or how a happy person makes all liaisons light and easy.

What seems to happen is we absorb their negative energy and become negative ourselves or their negative thought may be something we never considered and now fear has entered our arena- and now we feel like sh..

Maybe they have pulled us into their drama and triggered us to react in accordance with their fears and negativity. Either way it does not serve us in our attempts to be happy.

Many of us work our entire life to find that peace of mind and then an ‘asshole’ comes along to steal our prize and completely disturb our homeostasis NO THANKS!


We are enjoying our life and a Drama Queen with no action in their life, creates a mountain out of a molehill and completely drags us into a ridiculous mess. GO AWAY!

The above are the usual reactions of many consciously living folk.

When I watched a documentary made from the book, “The Secret”- I remember that there were two strong messages coming from this presentation in this regard and they were:

1 If there is a negative person or an “asshole” around you then one you attracted them by being a vibrational match AND:

2 Do everything in your power to avoid these people or anyone that brings you down because if you want good things to happen to you then you must vibrate to a higher frequency in accordance with the vibration of the happier events.


Well I am going to propose an alternative take on this Quote.

In the outset, I would like to acknowledge that for any one reading this who has lived with, and/or loved a person in depression then you will know how this can almost drag you into your own depressive state. I have seen much evidence of the effects of living with or loving someone in depression particularly if they become extremely aggressive, unloving, short fused and unappreciative.

It feels soul destroying- YES.

I know that sometimes when we liaise with very unconscious people we get dragged down to their playing field and find ourselves behaving in a manner we never believed we would.

We have all lived the effects of negative people somehow, somewhere.

Tania’s Textbook concentrates on raising your conscience by being in control of your thoughts and reactions and above all thinking with your heart. Tania’s Textbook is about understanding that we all belong to the same race- the human one, and using everything that happens within our realm to raise our consciousness, not bring it down or drag us into unconsciousness. If we remain conscious we help others to follow suit when they are ready.

This is why throughout the journey there will be exercises aimed at having you gain control of your thoughts or at pulling yourself out of the absorption of the mind energy.

Remaining conscious amongst unconsciousness or chaos is really the ultimate test of how peaceful you really are or how much peace really dwells within you. Anyone can live in an atrium surrounded by beautiful plants with angels playing the harp in the background-well almost anyone; there may be the odd few that can’t. The point is- it won’t teach you anything about yourself or assist you to grow.

Yes I do agree that you wouldn’t choose to move in with a person you would consider befitting the label of a “Drama Queen” or even an “Asshole”.  A peaceful mind is indeed blissful but if you find yourself surrounded by assholes as the opening quote goes then maybe you should take a leaf out of the late Stuart Wilde’s book and say:



You have been sent the best teachers on the planet. These people will strengthen you as they will teach you to transmute your negative energy –free of charge!

Stuart Wilde’s talks about thanking God for being sent wall to wall assholes, that will teach him so much about himself.

You see by driving you nuts or forcing you out of your comfort zone, they are teaching you to NOT REACT. They are teaching you to transmute hatred to love- so BE GRATEFUL!

All Spiritual Teachers say the same thing in a different way. They are in fact not trying to teach anyone anything but rather lead them to an experience of themselves beyond their form.

Eckhart Tolle teaches presence via bringing our attention to ‘the now’. Eckhart Tolle further advises not to make an identity out of unconsciousness. I suppose like calling these people “assholes” as it is a bit of ego coming in the back door. It makes you right and them wrong which can inhibit your spiritual growth.

As depicted in my book “ The Spiritual Dimension” if you think as GOD as electricity and each human as a light bulb- then we are all part of the same force, but our different vessels interpret and express this energy uniquely. Some globes shine brightly allowing a lot of God force through whilst others have the dimmer turned up high. At the end of the day- we are the same.

You see the Drama Queens that we are all avoiding unfortunately cannot feel this God force or aliveness within themselves and so creates drama to feel alive.

Aren’t you grateful that you can feel it ALL THE TIME.

So next time, an “asshole comes along” – test yourself. How peaceful are you? Are you contributing to World Love and World Peace? If you can remain calm and transmute, what can even feel like vile energy, you might feel and enormous growth within your being.


And wouldn’t it be nice if you could help others to feel this bliss too?


Photography by MDH
  • an
    Posted at 21:50h, 02 May Reply

    WOW how true, never thought of this in this way…Now I will stop and think how do I get rid of the neg people in my life. One by one until there are none. Thank you so much Tania for your inspiration and wisdom again.

    • Tania Van Zijl
      Posted at 20:33h, 03 May Reply

      Thank you An. If you know you will react then that is the best thing for you.

  • Annette Spano
    Posted at 22:38h, 02 May Reply

    Excellent , thought provoking post with a way to see things in a new light and be best person we can.

  • Katrina
    Posted at 18:17h, 03 May Reply

    Yet another great read. I always look forward to reading Tania’s Textbook.

    • Tania Van Zijl
      Posted at 20:30h, 03 May Reply

      Thank you Katrina

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