05 Dec The Best Things that Happen to us- are Not Always Packaged as such
You’ve probably heard over and over again- to the point of it becoming a bit clichéd that, your greatest suffering will lead to something good. ‘Every cloud has a silver lining’, so to speak. ‘Something good always comes out of something bad’ is another way of putting it. Many Spiritualists will refer to an increase in presence that may be the result when an aversive situation has been imposed upon us. Forcing us to “live in the now”, with no mental clock- is the so called ‘silver lining’.
Very often I have said to my clients, as they have poured out a distressing set of circumstances in which they have ended or even a set of symptoms they have developed,
“This may be the best thing that has happened to you”. I can see the look on their face which reflects the thoughts;
“Does she have any idea how much pain I’m in?” or,
“Was she listening?”
I tell them, “I know you probably feel like punching me in the face, for saying that..” and the session continues.
Let me give you an example from my own experience. I was a bit of a go-getter with a very calm demeanour- ON THE OUTSIDE. As Snoopy from the Peanuts’ cartoon puts it, “on the inside I was a raging turmoil”. On the inside I was always quite anxious, even though I appeared very relaxed. So when I was diagnosed with, Panic Attack Disorder, everyone I knew could not make sense of it.
“She’s the last person in the world that could develop that” is what people would say about me.
I remember thinking, “I need a Psychologist”. At the time I found this a bit embarrassing because I was a Psychologist. Not only that I was pretty good at psychology having attained a Distinction Grading. My ego felt a bit threatened, I should have “my sh.. together” as the saying goes. It sort of seemed a bit ironical that this person that outwardly seemed to have it all working for her, needed a psychologist. My ego had to succumb to my need because I started to feel like I couldn’t cope.
So I took myself off to a psychologist and I said to her having spent a lot of my time reading Spiritual Literature-
“I know something good will come out of this”.
This statement really shocked her and she responded with,
“Bad things just happen.” She then continued with, “Tell me something good to come out of your Dad dying?”
I actually responded with,
“I am more spiritual.”
My homework for the week was to concentrate on the notion that, ‘Bad things just happen’.
I went home and found that I just couldn’t do this. I just couldn’t accept that something good was not going to come out of all this suffering, even though it felt like the worst thing that had ever happened to me.
I decided that this was not the path for me, but being the courteous person that I am, thought that I should book another session to tell her politely that I would not be returning for counselling. The Psychologist’s fee was quite high given my financial position at the time, yet I felt a sense of duty to go back and explain why I needed to solve this one on my own.
The first thing she said to me was,
“I was hoping you would come back- in fact I felt so compelled to ring you during the week. I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said to me- about something good coming out of this- and the strangest thing happened- I was listening to the radio and I heard this guy called Deepak Chopra, talking about what you said- have you heard of him?”
“Yes” – I replied.
I had read all his books and even gone to one of his presentations (almost 20 years prior to this date) in the early days of “Ageless Body- Timeless Mind”. He wasn’t so well known then or maybe it was more a case of people were not so into Spiritual Teachings at the time- either way it was a relatively small group of people. It may have even been the case that I was so inspired by spiritual teachings that I half expected the hall to be packed and overflowing with thousands of people, which was not the case.
The Psychologist then went on to say that Deepak Chopra was saying that in life sometimes we are ready to move to a new state of being and we get struck by some major setback. Very often in the Western world a physical or financial devastation is not easily manifested so for many a psychological or mental trauma strikes us. This limitation draws us back to create enough energy so as to pole vault us into a higher dimensional reality which we could not have reached at the rate at which we were plodding along.
It was exactly what I needed to hear at the time. It confirmed all my beliefs.
This eventually led to my book, “The Spiritual Dimension”, an improved method of counselling and to this Blog. My life has taken on a completely new direction and focus.
On a similar line, The Buddha says that what happens to us in our life is of little importance -what we become is the only thing that matters.
The Dalai Lama says, When you lose- Don’t lose the lesson.
So if you do ever find yourself in a state in which you feel like you can’t cope or like you’ve suffered a major setback- seek professional help by all means because if you think you need it, you most probably do- but keep in mind that:
This could possibly be the BEST thing that ever happened to you.